Food + Drink

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This time of year it seems like butternut squash is everywhere – in soups and salads and even ravioli. And I am 100% okay with that. A favorite butternut squash dish of mine is this savory galette – a tart of sorts filled with roasted butternut squash, ricotta, and garlic. It is great as an appetizer, a veggie side dish, or an afternoon snack. Or breakfast, for that matter. It tastes even better than it smells and makes plenty for guests. Enjoy!

Butternut Squash Galette
makes two 10″ round galettes
Prep Time: 1 hour and a half
Total Time: 2 hours and a half

Galette Dough
2 1/2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1/2 tsp. salt (or 1 tsp. of sea salt)
8  oz. butter, cut into small pieces
1/3-1/2 cup of ice water

Butternut Squash and Roasted Garlic Filling
1 medium butternut squash
2 Tbls. olive oil
1 garlic clove chopped, plus 10 cloves unpeeled
2 tsp. fresh thyme leaves chopped
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup ricotta cheese
1 cup grated gruyere or fontina

Egg Wash (for crust)
1 egg, cracked and whisked with 1 Tbls. milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

Start by making the dough, that way it can chill while you prepare the filling. I recommend using a food processor to make the dough, but if you don’t have one, using two forks will suffice. Before you start, put the butter (already cut into chunks) and the 1/2 cup of water in the freezer to get cold. It is very important – nay, crucial! – that both are very cold before you start working, that way your dough will be extra flakey!

Place the dry ingredients in the food processor, or bowl, and mix for 1 minute. Add the cold butter and process, or use two forks to break up the butter until the mixture resembles course cornmeal. Add the cold water slowly – you may not need 1/2 a cup – while mixing until the dough holds together but is not sticky.

Divide the dough in half – remember this recipe makes two round galettes – and wrap each half in plastic wrap, flattening each slightly into a 5″ round ball. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to an hour, or about the time it takes to bake the butternut squash.

While the dough is chilling, you can make the filling. Start by peeling the squash. For those of you who have never peeled a butternut squash before, be warned: it’s a pain in the ass. But worth it! Use a good sharp potato peeler.  I find it’s easier if you brace the squash against your chest and then peel slowly downward away from you. No sliced fingers, please. After the squash is peeled, cut it in half and scoop out the seeds. A grapefruit spoon (with a serrated edge) works best, but a regular spoon will do too.

Cut the squash into 1/4 inch slices.

In a large bowl, toss the slices with olive oil, chopped garlic, and thyme. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and lay the butternut squash slices on the sheets. Add the unpeeled garlic cloves, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and bake until the squash and garlic are tender, about 25-30 minutes. Let cool.

Once the squash is out of the oven, it’s time to roll out one of the chilled galette doughs on a lightly floured surface until it is 1/4 inch thick. Place on a parchment lined round baking sheet. In a small bowl, peel the roasted garlic cloves and mash into the ricotta cheese. Spread half the cheese mixture onto the dough, leaving a 1 inch border. Lay half of the squash (as artistically as possible – people will be very impressed with your skills) over the ricotta.

Fold the dough edges over the outer layer of squash, and sprinkle half of the grated cheese (1/2 cup) on top of the squash. Brush the edges of the dough with egg wash – this is very important, it will make the crust a beautiful golden brown! – and sprinkle with salt. Do the same with the second batch of dough.

Bake until golden brown, about 20-30 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes before slicing.

Voila! A beautiful and delicious galette, sure to wow your post-holiday guests.

*If you don’t have two and half hours to spare, you can always make the dough or bake the squash ahead of time. Then all you’ll have to do is assemble and bake!

 

Life + Entertainment

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You know that saying about finishing each day and being done with it? Beginning anew, unencumbered by your old nonsense? (I butchered that quote – read the real thing here) Well, I feel that way, but times like 100 every New Year. I love the idea of starting fresh, cracking open that new daily planner, and starting the new year with a clean slate.  Here are some things I like to do to start the year off fresh – what about you?

Clean | You’ve just packed away the holiday decorations, and for a brief moment in time, your apartment looks less cluttered by comparison. Help keep it that way! Go through all your knick-knacks, your old sweaters, your junk drawer even: sorting, organizing, and cleaning as you go. It’s amazing how satisfying this can be. Plus, you start off the year with a large donation to Good Will and add some more good karma points to the queue.

Sort through contacts | I am notorious for going overboard with this, but a healthy dose of contact “editing” can be a good thing. You know those names in your phone like, “that one girl from the copy shop” or “blue sweater guy.” Chances are, they can go… Or your study buddy freshman year of college who you haven’t spoken to on Facebook for three years and will probably never see again? Probably her too…  If you haven’t talked to these people in 2012, and it doesn’t look like your paths are going to cross in 2013, seriously consider sorting them out of your phone, your Facebook friend list, or you email contacts. Seriously, people don’t think you’re cooler just because you have 988 Facebook friends. Let’s be real.

Make a list | …And not of resolutions, those things are notoriously hard to live up to. More like a list of things you want to do in the next twelve months: i.e. see your favorite band in concert, take a weekend trip, learn how to cook a new dish…simple things that will be fun to do and give you something to look forward to.

Relax | January is known for being a slow month – in the wake of a busy December, there are not a lot of holidays, not a lot of movie releases, not a lot of days in the black if you’re in sales, just not a lot going on in general. So enjoy it! Stay in on Saturday mornings, snuggle down to watch the rain fall, make soups, and store up that energy! It’s going to be a busy spring, so why not relax a little beforehand?

Happy New Year!

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Our Weekly Theme

Life + Entertainment

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We’ve done it! We’ve survived 2012 to see another year! And you know what? 2012 was a pretty great one. Even with all the shit that went down this year, there is still a lot for which we should all be thankful and proud. Even through tragedy, we huddled our masses and stuck with one another to pull through. So I thought, as we begin this new year, I’d put together a nice little list of things that were fucking awesome about 2012 and things we should look forward to in 2013. (It should be noted that these are in no particular order.)

12 Great Things That Happened in 2012

1. We survived the Mayan apocalypse.

2. It was a great year to be gay. Barack Obama became the first sitting president to publicly support gay marriage. Gay marriage was legalized in more states and made huge headway in traditionally homophobic communities; it was welcomed into and vocally supported in the hip-hop community and major league sports arenas across the world.

3. We were introduced to Grumpy Cat and irritated the crap out of her (yep. She’s a girl.) by loving her despite her angry disposition.

4. Corgnelius the Corgi came into our lives.

5. We found a community that understood the strife caused by our dogs’ shameful behavior.

6. We met Bubba the kitty and we fell in love.

7. The Justin Bieber plot failed and he lived to sing another song. Like him or not, you’ve sung along to one of his songs and you’re glad he’s still with us.

8. Our beloved Twilight series came to an end and its sex-crazed alter-ego, the Fifty Shades series, took over our lives for a brief moment. Don’t act like you weren’t into it, you kinky slut.

9. The presidential and vice presidential debates happened this year. No matter what side you were on, the debates were hysterical.

10. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield became our new favorite couple.

11. James Van Der Beek came back and was fucking awesome. Seriously you guys, I may be in love with him.

12. This happened. Gay pride deserves a second mention.

13 Great Things That Should Happen in 2013

1. People will stop confessing their undying love for one another on Facebook or any other social media outlet. We get it: you love each other. Tell each other, but please stop telling us because we now hate you; you’re the reason we all want a “dislike” button.

2. Chris Brown will go away. And, you know what, for that matter…Rihanna will also go away. For reasoning, please see her involvement with Chris Brown. Gross.

3. Black Eyed Peas. We’ve run them out of town like 908234623974 times now. They need to take the hint: GTFO.

4. We’ll all get to attend a gay wedding. That shit will put straight weddings to shame. Get ready.

5. Our iMaps will work with the efficiency of a Google map. A girl can dream.

6. We won’t have to endure cut-off jean shorts this summer.

7. Everyone will succeed at a DIY project. We deserve it. Why? See the 2012 list: we’re awesome.

8. We’ll get to watch Arrested Development again. FUCK. YES.

9. Boy Meets World will be in our lives once more. My 12 year old self can’t wait to tell her gay boyfriend.

10. Instagram won’t sell our photos for their own profit.

11. Animals will continue to photobomb the shit out of us and each other.

12. Our beanie babies will finally be worth thousands of dollars they promised to be worth.

13. You will be so damn happy that you’ll want to do that first thing on the list and confess your undying love for someone on Facebook or Twitter or MySpace (why the fuck are you still using MySpace?), but you’ll resist the urge; you’ll be superior.

So that’s my list. What wonderful things happened for you in 2012? What are most looking forward to about 2013?

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26

Life + Entertainment

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Like many students, every winter throughout college I migrated back home to stay with my family for the holidays. The break would last about a month, wherein I would get horribly sick (let’s face it, I’d probably had a total of 5 hours of sleep during finals), lounge around the house in sweatpants, drink tea with my high school besties, and de-compress/de-stress from my grueling college semester.

I’ve now been out of college for over a year and am happy to report that, while I no longer get horribly sick when I return home (thank the heavens), for the second winter in a row I have had the luxury of spending 2-3 weeks with my family in their home on the Central Coast.

Now, if you’re still in college, you might not realize how envious some of my working friends are of my vacation situation. For most of us when we enter the working world, “winter break” becomes a phrase of the past. Instead of a month-long chill-sesh in December and January, one must continue with one’s job, hopefully getting the chance to spend a couple paid (and heavily rationed) vacation days with family and friends at one point or another during the holidays. This is the life of the working college grad. This should be my life, but for some very lucky reasons it has, blessedly, not been just yet. Here’s why:

My first year out of college I was lucky enough to have a boss who understood the necessity of being away from the freezing-ass cold of West Philadelphia in December and let me take a very generous break to be with my family in California (for the record, I did get some work done…some). Technically, I was on a paid vacation and, technically, I should have only been home for a week or less (thanks, VISTA), but, happily, I was able to have a “winter break” like the college kid I still felt I was. And it was lovely! When I returned back to work in January I was ready to tackle whatever grant proposal came my way! I had had my flu, I had relaxed deeply, and I had visited with the high school buddies that keep me going. It was great!

After my service year ended, I was lucky enough to have a “summer break” (read: lived off/spent all of my meager savings) before beginning work as a consultant in August. And then, due to the contractual nature of my new job, I received this wonderful little break in December, which meant, and means until next week, that once again I am on “winter break” when really I should be slogging away at an office somewhere wishing that my weekends were two days longer.

So, while I do not know how long this job will last and while I have yet to figure out my professional goals in life, I take comfort in the knowledge that while I am in this tele-commuting ”free-lance consultant” unstable/confusing/and bizarre point in my career, I get to spend my days wherever the fuck I want (ahem, can afford). And this holiday season, I am spending them curled up on the couch in my parents’ family room, trying to make out the words on my computer screen over the intense glare that is coming from the window behind me. It’s a rough life.

Yes, there’s a part of me that wishes I had a career with a steady income, but there’s also another part of me, and, let’s face it, in this moment a much bigger part of me, that’s so dang pleased that I get to spend this long stint of time back home. Maybe I’ll have normal adult vacations in this new year. But right now, I’ll bask in the glory that is free-lance employment and enjoy the last few days of my break. Suck it, bitchez.

Image Credit

January 3, 2013

The Break

Style + Design

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1. Llamas’ Valley via Desire to Inspire

2. Russu on Hel Looks

3. Via Georgina Clark on Pinterest

4. Via chopchops flickr

5. Cable Knit Hood Sweater from Canvas Lands End

6. Chunky Knit Turban Headband by ChiChiDee on Etsy

7. Knitted bedding via My Ideal Home

 

A few items that you can add to your closet and home to get the cable knit look:

1. Cream Knit Sweater from H&M

2. Cozy Cable Knit Throw from PotteryBarn

3. Sweater Knit Pillow Covers from West Elm

4. Cable Knit Beanie from GAP

5. Women’s Pullover Sweater from Target

6. Cable Knit Headband by ChiChiDee on Etsy

 

Featured image via Local Milk

 

Life + Entertainment

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Y’all lets be real: 2012 has been a TRIP! I know many of us have survived big things: first full year out of college, getting a tattoo or buying a pit bull puppy…we all have a TON to celebrate. But the most important thing to do right now is to ask yourself this question: Where do I want to be at 12:30 am on 1/1/2013? Do you want to be in the company of your best friends watching the ball drop and doing jello shots? Do you want to be making out with a fake-mustasched stranger on the dance floor? Do you want to be crafting a killer party hat and eating ice-cream cake with your favorite niece? Only you can define what is a fabulous night for you.

Here are some tips on living fabulously this New Years Eve:

PARTYING AT HOME:

  • Definitely do a craft: Make these supercute floral party hats.
  • Ask one of your friends to DJ: Listen to this playlist for inspiration.
  • Don’t pay for everything: Ask your guests to bring booze if you are providing party favors and food, etc. It’s not rude to do this, December is a MAD expensive month for most people so you shouldn’t feel like you have to pay for everything.
  • Sparkles: Oh my! Buy these they are so cheap and so much fun for you and your guests.
  • Party games party games: Ugh, I am soooo over Apples to Apples. I don’t really like playing party games but some people enjoy them.

 

PARTYING IN YOUR LOCAL URBAN HYPER-RAGER:

  • Looking good: Makeup Tips and Fashion Inspiration from teenage girls.
  • Bring cash: You won’t regret it. Lets be real. If want to have a good time on NewYear’s Eve you either need to have enough cash to buy enough to drink for the evening or rely on someone else to buy you drinks. You can probably find an open bar, search your local newsweekly for listings.
  • Bring your coat? Where is a safe place to hide your coat in a nightclub or lounge? This is a million dollar question. I truly dislike coat checks and am always in search of an answer to this q.
  • Take a nap: You are going to be out superduperlate. Last year, I was at a house party with a DJ dancing until 4:00am on New Year’s Eve. I had a very good time but was quite sleepy and had to drink caffeine–I have learned from this experience and am definitely going to take a nap before I go out this year.
  • Don’t be stupid: How much money do you plan to burn this NYE? I’m all for having fun but don’t be stupid. For example, don’t go to this party. Eww!
  • Don’t forget your I.D! Your night will be ruined.
Just remember to be yourself whatever you do!

Image via Renate Lindlar Portfolio

December 30, 2012

HAPPY FABULOUS 2013!

Life + Entertainment

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Now is the time of year that we take a little break from blogging (we have to let our contributors relax at some point, right?), but don’t fret, we’ll be back in a week. Can you believe it will be 2013 so soon? We hope you have a wonderful holiday break, and a happy New Year. Spend some quality time with your family, friends, or coworkers, and, of course, yourself (some R & R alone is mandatory during this season!). See you on the flip side, beginners!

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December 24, 2012

Happy Holidays & New Year!

Life + Entertainment

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As we enter into the final countdown to Christmas, we’ve all probably made a list we’re hoping Santa will peruse and use to fill the base of our Christmas trees. With each passing year, I find this list gets more and more difficult to produce. Most of what I want is shit I can buy for myself or is way too extravagant to request or simply no longer exists. It’s a difficult time of year; we all have our battles.

So on this virtual eve of Christmas, I thought I’d share my Christmas list with you – specifically those items which will forever be featured on my list and, at this point, make no sense.

1. N*Sync CD

This could probably be labeled as “boyband cd,” but, while I enjoyed the plethora of boybands that exploded during my adolescence, none compared to the magic that was Justin, JT, the gay one, and those other two guys. I know they’re no longer together, but I still want a CD. I want them to be a boyband forever so I can shamelessly sing along to the lyrics I don’t yet know are absolutely vile. I want both that innocence and the splendor of their music for Christmas this year.

2. Barbie Dream House

I didn’t even have barbies growing up and yet I still want to be able to brag to my elementary school friends that I had that pink mansion shoved and probably mangled in the back of my closet. It makes no sense; I don’t even understand it. And yet…I want it.

3. EZ Bake Oven

Yes, I have my own actual oven now. And yes, I could probably make a much better batch of brownies/cookies in that oven; this point is not lost on me. But something about waiting 6 hours for a lightbulb to cook a single brownie still sounds awesome to me.

4. A Body Pillow

I live with a dog larger than my bed and a boyfriend. We share a full sized bed and yet, I still want a pillow that’s going to surround my entire body. It is absurd and would absolutely be more of an intruder than anything else but…I want it.

5. Label Maker

Why do I want this? Please someone enlighten me! Honestly, I barely understand the label maker’s existence. I have never once opened a cabinet and been so overwhelmed by a lack of labels that I used salt instead of sugar or tried to use milk instead of glue for a glitter project. Most everything comes with some sort of label which is generally useful for identifying its purpose. Yet, if I had a label maker, I would literally label everything – cabinets, coffee pot, soap, tv, book shelves; it would be ridiculous and that makes me want it.

6. Megapack of Sharpies

Sharpies are the only markers worth owning. They are insanely expensive. They bleed through EVERYTHING. They last for almost an entire doodle. And they come in colors no person would ever use. No person has ever thought, “you know what color I wish I could use to write this memo? Flesh color.” But you know what? Every damn time I see that pack of 9 million sharpies for a mere $197, I stop and truly consider purchasing it. Mind you, this is all the more insane because I am a web designer and, therefore, write almost nothing with a pen.

7. Any Apple Product

I already have almost all of these products, except mine are all one generation old now. So I must replace them. Their functionality has not improved. Their design has not improved. They are slightly modified (neither for better or worse) versions of their parents and owning them will add nothing to my life. And yeeeeeeeeet…my life feels a little empty without them. I have iPad 2, but….is the New iPad better? It’s got “new” in the title, so it must be better…right?”

8. A tree house

Do I have a tree in which to build a house? Nope. Do I have a club or massive porn collection which might benefit from the seclusion provided by a tree house? Nope. If I had a tree house, would I ever be willing to spend any amount of time in what could easily become a spider sanctuary? No. No I would not. But here it is on my list.

9. Puppy

Otherwise known as an adorably packaged giant responsibility. I had a small puppy; now I have a big puppy and I KNOW I am not ready to restart that potty-training fiasco. But…I mean…how amazing would it be to open a box and see a little yellow lab with a red bow around its neck? It would be amazing provided you had no idea what was about to happen to your life.

10. Subscription to U.S. Weekly and/or People Magazine

It’s garbage…and my life would be no better or worse with either of these subscriptions. But I guess it’s the only product on this list that makes even a semblance of sense…

So there you have it: my ultimate Christmas list. Mine is clearly the product of a childhood in the 90′s. What does yours look like?

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Life + Entertainment

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I’m in the middle of a show’s rehearsal process, which equates to about 48-60 hours a week. This doesn’t factor in transit time, naturally. So, I will be brief because I can’t remember when I last ate or showered.

An article from the popular comedy site Cracked.com has caught the attention of many folks and is making quite a dent on Facebook newsfeeds. Why?  In the threshold of a new year (and our apocalyptic Mesoamerican demise?), an article like this stands out against the flood of “best of” lists recapping overly publicized mainstream or mindlessly viral schlock , banking on the compressed and premature nostalgia of wired youths with shortened attention spans.

So after clicking through half a dozen of these list links, like “The X Best Pop Songs of 2012” (“Oh, I wonder how high ‘Call Me Maybe’ is on this list”) reading about the year ahead is refreshing. Cleansing the palate even more is the article’s healthy dose of “tough love” – which is unfortunately not in fashion. David Wong, the author, is the right life coach mix of painful prodding and cuddly, almost paternal advice.

READ IT.  OWN IT.  LOVE IT. Let’s stop using the shitty, stagnant economy as an excuse for being shitty, stagnant people. And neither David or I are talking about money; if you’re broke, unemployed, whatever, that doesn’t stop you from picking up a goddamn book. Learn a language, an instrument, Excel, etc. If you think you’re such a good person,  stop thinking and start doing: pick up a ladle or visit an old folks’ home or teach a class to little ‘uns.

Now, it is a BITCH to set some sort of autodidactic course schedule for yourself and actually stick to it. (Intimate knowledge of that.)  If you know your self-discipline is laughable, instead try making a pledge to never take the “easy way” out of stuff. Example: you could bring beer or wine to a party OR you could use it as an opportunity to try a new recipe. I did this once and made pierogi ruskie from scratch for the first time ever. They were excellent. They were time-consuming. I’m, like, never making them again because that’s hours of my life rolling dough or peeling tiny red potatoes, BUT I’ll never be scared of a recipe again. Or trust “prep time” estimates. That alone makes it worthwhile. Veni, vidi, vici, bitchi.

Show some grit and BRING IT in 2013. I triple dog dare you..

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December 20, 2012

2013, BRING IT.

Style + Design

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I love it when I go into my most recently pinned items and find a theme. It is oddly reassuring, as if by seeing some kind of pattern my hours spent on Pinterest is now validated. Like my brain now thinks, “oh hey! you didn’t waste all that time like you thought you did.” If at this point you are calling my bluff, or muttering to yourself that that girl is an idiot, well, then you might be right. But, if you too are now looking for reassurance in your recent pins, then welcome aboard. I am happy to provide you with an excuse to pin. Below is apparently my most recent theme. A little blush and camel anyone?

From left to right: 1 / 2 / 3 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

Life + Entertainment

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There’s no place like home for the holidays…really, no place.  The warmth and familiarity of your old family home, the smell of cookies baking in the oven, the constant questioning of Great Aunt Irene, and the ever fun challenge of fitting into your old single bed that’s occupying a corner of your once-childhood-bedroom-turned-office.  It’s fun, it’s stressful, it’s exciting, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, and here are a few tips to help you make it through it.

Keep Up Appearances | Sure, this may sound like shallow advice, but you are going to be seeing people you only see once a year: cousins, neighbors, that one cute guy you had a crush on in high school (who still hasn’t left town), and you want to look your best.  Show them that all that you can take care of yourself: that you can afford that Super Cuts haircut, can pick out cute outfits without your Mom’s guidance, and even know how to apply eyeliner.  Because you know they’re going to notice these things…

Socialize (With an Escape Plan) | Practice your spiel. People are going to be asking you what you’re doing, what your plans are, why you’re not married, when you’re getting married, when you’re going back to school, when you’re going to find a “real” job,  etc. So either have all your answers down pat, or…make something up.  Either way is fine, as long as your confident and convincing!  ”Well Aunt Mary, I’m only working at this coffee shop until my lawyer-doctor-humanitarian fiance, Michael, finishes his Ph.D. and then we’re moving to Boston where I’ll study philosophy at the University of Massachusetts on a full-ride scholarship.”

And if that doesn’t work, divert attention to your more successful/less successful cousin: “Why would we talk about me when Stacy just got into law school?!  Tell us about it, Stace!” OR “Speaking of bar exams, didn’t Jason get arrested at the bar last week? How’s his trial shaping up?”

Be a Little Weird | People are going to be talking about you anyway so why not live it up?  Smoke a candy-cane like a cigarette (even though smoking kills. Keep it real, kids) or laughing like Santa Clause (loud, and ho-ho-ho’ey) at least once a day.  It’ll make you smile if nothing else.

Settle Into the Nest | Going home often means becoming 12 years old again.  Big brother Ned might try to put you in a headlock; Dad might enforce a curfew; and Grandma might make you eat more vegetables.  But embrace it, because being 12 again means that Mom might just do your laundry!

Buy Into It | Sure it’s Christmas, but who doesn’t love a little cheer (even if it is in the ironic sense – I’m looking at you Holiday Hipsters)?  So sing the carols, tear up at the cheesy commercials, decorate, say Happy Holidays, bake cookies, and wear an ugly Christmas sweater proudly.  It is Christmas, after all.

Don’t Forget to Stay Hydrated | Christmas cocktails. Drink them. Enjoy them. Enough said.

Image Source: Family Photo

Life + Entertainment

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Yes, it’s that time of year again. Tis’ the season when twinkling lights invade every street post and tree, when holiday tunes find their way into our heads like gum on the bottom of our shoe, and when our TVs are seemingly programed to play Love Actually on repeat through January. For the record, this last one I am not ashamed to admit, is one of my favorite parts of the holiday season. I LOVE Love Actually… to an almost unhealthy level. If there were awards given for movie memorization, I would be a serious contender for gold, and if it were a team sport, my friends and I would be Olympic champions. Loveathletes so to speak. Let’s be honest, what’s not to love about a movie with 12 different heart-warming love stories in it? And the cast? I mean come on!

Not to mention, some of the finest conversation-worthy quotes can be pulled from this movie. For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about let me provide you with a list of examples:

1. When you can’t believe what someone has just said, say: “There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?”

Example: Your friend just announced to you that she’s engaged. Being that she’s been engaged a couple times before and those relationships didn’t work out, you are struggling to believe that she’s engaged once again, so all you can come up with is “There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?” If she’s a “loveathlete” as well she’ll laugh, but if she gives you WTF-face, maybe just quickly add that what you meant to say was “Yay! Congrats!”… Whew, that was a close one.

 

2. When you don’t quite agree with someone, reply with: “Oooh, would we call her chubby?”

Watch the video for this quote here - this one couldn’t be embedded, sorry!

Example: A good friend mentions that the guy sitting three tables away from you looks JUST like Orlando Bloom, when really he’s more of Shia Labeouf circa 1999 (think Even Stevens years). An appropriate response, so as not to make your friend feel as though she has no sense of what humans look like, would be “Oooh, would we call her chubby?”… and leave it at that.

 

3. When someone is taking a really long time, try saying: “Are you going to dip it in yogurt? Cover it with chocolate buttons?”

Example: Your sister is at it again – taking her sweet time in the bathroom in front of the mirror when you really need to brush your teeth, make sure you look presentable to the world and get yourself to work on time. You painfully watch her curl her lashes, fill in her brows, blah, blah, blah. At some point, when you just can’t handle her shenanigans anymore, just glare and say “Are you going to dip it in yogurt? Cover it with chocolate buttons?” Hopefully she’ll get the message.

 

4. And, when you are bummed about anything (or everything?) just shout: “I hate Uncle Jamie!”

(Apologies for the poor quality video – it was the only one I could find for this quote.)

Example: When you miss your bus – “I hate Uncle Jamie!”… When it’s cold outside – “I hate Uncle Jamie!”… When you accidentally step in dog crap – “I hate Uncle Jamie!”… You get the idea. 

 

If you aren’t into Love Actually (and you’ve made it this far into my post) perhaps you can enjoy Hugh Grant bustin’ a move or two.

Whatever your holiday traditions might be, whether they are meeting with old friends, caroling around town or staying indoors and watching the same rom com on repeat for a whole month, I wish you all a wonderful, warm holiday season.

 

Featured Image via The Entertainment Bureau

Life + Entertainment

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Happy Friday everyone! As we near closer and closer to the holidays (or we near closer and closer to the end of the holidays, depending on your religious preference), it has become more and more evident to me why I used to look forward to this time of year so much: winter break. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Christmas season and the holiday and everything that comes along with it. But it is just not the same without the added bonus of not having any responsibilities.

Winter break was a time to put down the stress of school for almost three solid weeks and focus on relaxation and hobbies and shit you had to ignore for the majority of the year to ensure you graduated before you turned 30. You had time to really put a solid effort towards knitting that scarf, building that bird house, or baking (and subsequently eating) all those cookies.

But now? Winter break is non-existent. And it is a bummer. Just because we no longer have school to worry about (some of us) does not mean we are not in dire need of a break from the daily grind. Bosses, clients, deadlines: these things are stressful and just because they aren’t part of a curriculum does not mean that our brains can handle them for a solid year without an extended break. No matter how much you love your job, after an entire year without a sanctioned extended break, we all end up looking like this poor bastard:

So this, my friends, is my open plea for winter break. It needs to be a thing that we all get regardless of age. Whoever be the power that makes these decisions, bring it back; I beg of you!

Until that decision is made, however, I’ll be happy it’s Friday and to have at least the next two days to unwind.

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December 14, 2012

Winter Break: WANT