It starts off awesome: you decide to move and you start dreaming of your future home.

And then you realize you get to tour all these apartment complexes while the tour guides make you feel at home so you’ll rent with them!

And you get to pretend like you have actual demands other than “I don’t want to live in a garbage can anymore.” One such demand might be, “there must be a constant flow of ice cream in the lobby at all times.”

But then the inevitable happens. One of the tour guides is like, “you have to make three times the rent to live here” before even saying, “hello.”

She’s a bitch and so without even knowing the rent, you’re like, “Not. A. Problem.”

But now there’s some gloom over your search…because you’re now kind of terrified that you’re going to be treated like shit again and have to deal with another bitch.

And after what feels like the MILLIONTH tour, you kind of feel like you’re going in circles.

But then finally…FINALLY…someone’s like, “Yeah we accept large dogs. No floor limitations.” And you’re shocked.

This place is everything you’ve been looking for…

After they reassure you that they’re telling the truth and this isn’t a trap, you’re like:

But then they mention the rent and in your head you’re like:

But you realize it’s not so bad, so you fill out an application and pick out a new place.

But then the true reality hits: now you have to pack up your current place and move all your shit to the new one. And then you’re forever like:

Happy Friday!
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Image Credits: Featured; Post: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10

Happy Friday!

Image Credit

1. What could be more perfect than a handmade lantern? Learn how to make one here.

2. Neon plate wear? Yes, please!

3. We couldn’t think of anything better for your feet than lamb wool slipper socks.

4. A beautiful screenprint for any space.

5. Make your mom a colorful bookmark for every occasion!

6. Tiny succulent cork planters. What else do we need to say?

7. Everyone needs a tote bag…especially one as beautiful as this.

8. We want this sisal purse, because it is just so cute!

9. A wrapping cloth to wrap, well, everything.

10. Tea towels for you?

11. The field bag is the perfect weekend bag.

12. This is a great how to for very cute neon fabric bowls.

13. How about some vouchers? Everyone loves multiple gifts!

What do you have planned for Mother’s Day this year?

Heart Shaped Egg in a Hole from Martha Stewart

Ingredients & Tools:

• Mom’s favorite bread (sliced if it’s in a loaf)
• Heart-shaped cookie cutter (or a good knife and a steady hand)
• Skillet or heavy pan
• Eggs (one for each slice of toast)
• Butter (try Martha’s herb butter for some added pizzazz) or olive oil

Using your cookie cutter or a sharp knife, cut out a small heart shape from the center of a slice of bread. Spread each side of the bread with butter or olive oil.

Heat skillet over medium heat, adding an extra dollop of butter or olive oil depending upon the state of your pan. Place the slice of bread on the skillet and saute until golden, 2 to 3 minutes. Lower heat and flip the bread slice over.

Break your egg into the heart-shaped hole. Cover, and cook until egg white turns opaque, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate along with the heart-shaped piece of cutout bread, perfect for dipping into yolk. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Images via Reclaiming Provincial

Banana Yogurt Smoothie from my Mom

Ingredients & Tools:

• Orange juice (fresh squeezed preferred but concentrate okay, obvs)
• Bananas
• Plain yogurt (although vanilla is fine – your drink will taste sweeter)
• Bit of ice (optional)
• Blender

Croque Madame from the Barefoot Contessa

Ham & Egg Crepe Squares from Martha Stewart

Lavender Hot Chocolate from Une-deux Senses

For the whipped cream, place the cold cream, vanilla and sugar into a cold mixing bowl. Beat the mixture with a whisk or mixer until stiff peaks form. Keep refrigerated until ready for use.

For the hot chocolate, beat the milk and lavender over medium heat, whisking occasionally until the milk begins to simmer. Remove from the heat and let the lavender steep for 5 minutes. Strain the lavender and return the milk to the saucepan. Over medium heat, add the chocolate and mix until the chocolate is melted and incorporated. Whisk the milk mixture for 10 – 20 seconds or until frothy. Pour into a large mug and serve with a dollop of whipped cream.

So I thought, in the spirit of not reading, I’d share with you the difference between parties for me then and now. Of course, I’ll do this in animated gifs (because I love you all and who the fuck doesn’t love a good gif?)

Parties then vs now

In college, someone would be like, “hey wanna go to so-and-so’s party tonight? Starts at 10pm,” I’d be like

Now when someone says there’s a party starting at 10pm, my reaction looks something like

In college, once I got to the party, I’d be like

Now, it looks a little more like

And then I’d start drinking and have like 5 shots. No problem.

Today, after 3 beers, I look a bit like this

And then someone would inevitably start eating someone else’s face and I’d be like

Today, I’m more like

And one of my friends would be upset they didn’t get to make out with a stranger’s face and I’d sympathize

Not so much today

As we’d now have two people in utter tears, it’d be time to go home, to which I’d respond

Today?

Essentially, what I’m trying to tell you that I’m the Stanley of your party

The Ron Swanson to your fun

And live a Liz Lemon type of lifestyle

And in college, I might wake up and feel fucking fantastic after god knows how many shots/drinks

But today, after only a few beers…

Happy Friday!

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Now that we live together, we are slowly establishing a rhythm for the week and weekend. Wake up, go to work, return home, watch Say Yes to the Dress, rinse and repeat. On the weekend, we get out of the house during the day, but end up back on the couch in the evening just like every other weeknight. We have the infamous couch-party on lockdown, friends!

And for the most part it feels pretty good. Since we are both the eat popcorn, drink tea, laze around in our PJs types, we are generally content to watch brides bitch, moan, and cry on the boob-tube every night including Friday’s and Saturday’s. We cackle mercilessly and spontaneously dance in the dining room between episodes (there’s a lot of Hall & Oates playing here). We are old maids minus the old and the celibacy (we live with our boyfriends too) and cat ladies minus the cats (there’s a no pets clause in our lease but know that if it weren’t there we would fill our cottage with furry creatures in a heartbeat).

Since our current idea of a good party consists of dancing in our pajamas and watching TV until Netflix asks us if we’re still there (this happens multiple times a night…damn you, Netflix!), we wanted to confess that we’re a little out of touch with the usual party-going scene…you know, the one that takes place outside of our home. In case you thought we were experts regarding this week’s theme…or something.

What’s your idea of a good party? Is it a girls-night out in the city or a tv marathon on your best friend’s couch? Wherever you’re doing your thang, if you’re having a good time then you know it’s legit.

FYI, in case you’re concerned about our night-outing health, we do have plans to go to this sometime soon…we’ll let you know when that happens.

Image Sources: Featured, Post

This American Life

Episode 61: Fiasco!

This episode is an oldy but goody from 1997. The first story about a Peter Pan stage production gone wrong will have you in stitches!

Episode 115: First Day

An oldy too, this episode is full of gems. You will laugh until tears pour down your face and you pee your pants. Squirrel!

Episode 268: My Experimental Phase

Experimenting is part of every person’s life. And some people’s experimental phases are funnier than others. Tis true with this episode. You will not be disappointed.

Episode 396: #1 Party School

Oh to be in college! And drunk! #1 Party School starts off in State College, PA, where Ira and TAL producer Sarah Koenig listen to the sounds of crazy youth in their natural habitat.

Savage Lovecast

Episode 64 starting at 14:25

One of the more bizarre fetishes we’ve encountered on the Lovecast.

Episode 66

And another woman who has it!

Our best advice: just start at episode 1 and make your way to now. Dan does not disappoint!

Image Source

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One of my favorite things to do during the summer is collect glass jars of all shapes and sizes and put tea lights in them. You can set them up on a patio, stoop, or in a backyard to add an instant magical glow and twinkle to your evenings.

Image via Jessica Clifford on Flickr

Featured image via The Fresh Exchange

Image Credits: 1/2/3/4/5/6